Before I blow off them candles, I was told to make a wish. For a second it seemed like the universe begged at my feet and despite my long wish-list, I turned it down.
Silently blowing off my candles, I shut my eyes close. A tear managed to slide down my flushed cheek, I could tell. Panicking, wiping it off, and joining the live event I’m supposedly the queen of.
Cheers and smiles all across the room, only I was drowning in thoughts. Wondering which road will this take me? Will I join the stars in the dim? Or will I fade into nothingness during the day?
Another year? Another year.
Glistening secretly alone in the dark,
kept my company when I lost my spark,
That night hope found a home in me,
’cause even in the dark, the stars will be.
Not too soon, the cloudy mist greeted hi,
hope whispered, ‘stars never bid goodbye’.
That night, I found a home in thee,
’cause even when the clouds take over, hope will be.
Streaming down tears, I knew you’re near,
despite of the heavy rain, non i could fear.
Only that night, hope couldn’t save me,
but the sight of you, kept me free.
And the hole remains,
nothing can fill the space again.
Emotions digging into the veins,
perhaps someday, it escapes the pain.
And loneliness creeps in,
frantically searching for a friend in me.
It’s only now I give in,
perhaps we become friends, perhaps we’re meant to be.
And emotion after the other seeps in,
knocking the doors I left unlocked.
Emotions making its way under my skin,
perhaps they got the license after they knocked.
And I lay wondering how I got here, I’m unsure.
what went wrong, how much can I endure?
The only way I stay sane is by looking outside.
Through the window, that’s how I distract my mind.
It’s an illusion.
When I look outside I see a vast universe, a wide space with no boundaries. Once I look back in, I realise I’m still in this very narrow space.
It’s all in my head; the walls are collapsing, I can’t move, I can’t breathe. Gasping for air, I return my gaze back to the window. Figuring a way to make it all vague again.
On and again, it’s my therapy until we finally land.
Long lines of passengers grabbing their luggage. I sit patiently trying not to freak out, or even worse, pass out. My tummy still playful, I could feel my muscles tight, my blood rushing through my veins, but all I show is patience. For I know, it would get even more suffocating if I stand in line with this bunch of unknown faces.
So I wait until I’m the last to leave. Grab my luggage and rush to the exit door.
Another successful flight!
Each layer came cracking down, the shells I’ve surrounded myself with, ruptured one at a time. Gradually exposing every insecurity.
I hastened, picking up the pieces, helplessly trying to cover what I could. Every secret, every detail, every part of my being, radiating. Never have I felt more naked.
You stared blankly. Not a word could you utter, almost like you’re in space like it’s unreal.
You laid your eyes on my insecurities like they were art or some sort of magic. You barely touched, but I could feel your fingers joyfully flipping pages of my untold stories. You explored every corner of my being. And when you were almost done, you weren’t.
You looked deeply into my eyes, not blinking once, it was a gaze of knowledge. Your lips never uttered a word. Your arms extending, embracing my bare soul, and after a deep breath, whispering, you stuttered, ‘You deserve better‘.
I broke down in tears that night,
‘I need you’, I cried in dismay.
Vulnerable, glaring at you in fright,
all I wanted, was for you to stay.
On the cold bare floor, I lied.
You left but your memories never did,
on that day, I knew I died.
a secret the universe always hid.
A thin scarf promised to keep her warm,
she sat there, as she witnessed the waveform
Her feet buried into the fine marine sand,
eyes fixed, and all noise was banned.
Gentle waves caressed the shore,
a strong bond, hard to ignore.
Every time with a kiss it swore,
to come back with even more.
Lost in the maze of her mind,
how deep is the love of the sea for the shore
A love story, one of a kind,
the warmth she always longed for.